The Four Stages of Dressing Like a “Mature Woman”

The final destination.

You always knew the day would come. Years ago you felt the “mature woman” was dormant within you when you walked out of Forever 21 emptyhanded and then unexpectedly purchased a shirt from New York & Co. Now she’s dormant no more! This mature woman has erupted and is ready to take the world by storm one sassy shoulder-slit shirt at a time. How did you get here? Let’s retrace our steps.

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My Guide to Pretending You Weren’t Just Crying in Your Car

TEARS

I have a motto; If you don’t cry once a day, you’re not doing it right.  For some reason offices don’t have “Cry Rooms,” so if you’re like me you’re probably doing the majority of your crying in your car during lunch.  The problem is you eventually have to face your coworkers, so I’ve compiled some of my best tips for HIDING THOSE TEARS.

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How to Effectively Yell On the Phone and Lower Your Cable Bill

Badcustomerserviceimage
I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a racket (that I’m not in charge of ) and most cable companies fall into this category.  A thought you might have: You still have cable?  Yes, I’m not cool enough to give it up, you smug hipster. Continue reading

What’s in MY BAG?

 

BAG FINAL
MY BAG

US Weekly has a popular segment, “What’s in My Bag?” that let’s us peer into celebrities’ purses and since I’m borderline narcissistic, it always makes me feel like shit.  So in the vain of this self esteem crushing magazine column, I’d like to do the opposite for my reader (s) and let you peer into my bag, which is more like a peasant’s purse. Continue reading