US Weekly has a popular segment, “What’s in My Bag?” that let’s us peer into celebrities’ purses and since I’m borderline narcissistic, it always makes me feel like shit.  So in the vain of this self esteem crushing magazine column, I’d like to do the opposite for my reader (s) and let you peer into my bag, which is more like a peasant’s purse.

PILES OF RECEIPTS:  Usually from Target, Trader Joes & Joann Fabrics. Let’s start e-mailing receipts. I’m hoarding over over 80,000 emails in my inbox, what’s a couple of more?

 

MAILERS FROM MY FAVORITE RETAILERS:  Boots, Healthy Habits, inspiration from Macy’s, Crafts, and Cruises.  What more is there to life?

 

LISTS: I have an average of five lists going at once. It’s a mental game I like to play with myself and I usually don’t win.

 

EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

Unopened travel toothpaste with no tooth brush: That’s what your fingers are for, right?

Emergency Nerds: When you’re dragging at 3pm,  Seriously Strawberry Nerds work fine in place of hard drugs.

Packing Tape: Just cause.

Mini funnel: No idea and I’m worried too

Full size DEO for the B.O.: Enough said and this should be standard human protocol.

Tampon: Not only is it good for you, but good for women everywhere. I love being able to dole out tamps to co workers, friends, and strangers when Aunt Flo visits early.

2 dollars in cash: Vending machine Doritos..DUH.

Pile of change: Adds that necessary weight on your shoulder to enhance scoliosis

Outdated iPhone chargers: I love being the one who raises their hand when someone sheepishly asks, “Does anyone have a 4 charger?” I do Sir. You’re not alone.

Binder Clips: YOU NEVER KNOW

Mystery Medicine: Here’s to hoping it’s Cyanide.